View From The Front Porch-Stan Hitchcock-November 19, 2012

This pen and ink and watercolor wash, that I did in 1986, reminds me of simpler times, times of peace and tranquility, times of family and friends. At the time that I did this picture, Denise and I were living in a log house, out in the country, in Castalian Springs, Tennessee. We had been married two years, Scotty was 1 year old, I was running CMT and it was starting to get off the ground, slowly. We certainly were not in peace and tranquility, with a start up cable tv network, with all the pressures that I had on me to make it successful, but my private life was peaceful. Denise brought that to my life, and I had never had that in a relationship until we married. No matter what success or acclaim you might achieve, if you do not have a God blessed marriage, of love, trust, faith and true partnership, then you are missing the vital link that brings all of it together.

Those CMT start up days are long past, two Networks later we still strive to do what we have always done, be true partners and support each other in every way. Sometimes you have to be there just to cry together and try to heal, and pray to God that the hurt will go away.
 
This time of Thanksgiving is always bittersweet to Denise and I.

In September of 1988 our, son Dennis Walker T. Hitchcock, called DW by his family almost from the day he was born, came into this world. It was a more difficult birth than Scotty's had been, and they had a little trouble getting him to start breathing on his own. Finally, I heard that cry of a baby announcing himself to the world. We took DW home to his two year old brother, Scott, and his big brother Stan, the 2nd. His big sister, Marilyn, had helped bring him into the world, right beside me in the delivery room with Denise. It was a wonderful time.

DW was a perfect baby, beautiful, bright eyed and with a grin that could just melt your heart. We couldn't wait to take him to Wisconsin to see his Grandparents, Marcella and Duane Thornburg, and his Aunty Em and Uncle Mark.

Two days before Thanksgiving, we loaded up the van and headed off for Prairie du Chien, Wisconsin, where the Thornburgs live. All the family was going to be home to see the new baby. When we got there, the house was just bursting with love, and we looked forward to a wonderful visit.

Thanksgiving Day dawned cold and clear and the whole house was filled with the wonderful smells of Thanksgiving Dinner. Denise and I spent the morning playing with DW, and sharing him with the whole family like the treasure he was. Finally, just as Mom Thornburg called us to dinner,
DW went to sleep on my shoulder and I carried him to his crib and laid him gently in it.

The family sit down to Thanksgiving dinner, and at the end of the meal, I got up to go check on Dennis. As I approached the crib, I noticed he was laying unusually still, I picked him up. DW was not breathing.

I only remember bits and pieces of the next few days...I remember standing in the cold outside the hospital, screaming to God, "Why...why...why?" The period is a black hole in my memory that comes from the black hole in my heart that will never heal over. Dennis Walker T. Hitchcock died during Thanksgiving Dinner, on Thanksgiving Day in 1988. We buried him in the Thornburg family cemetery plot, on a hill overlooking the Mississippi River.

SIDS, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, it the cruelest nightmare a parent can face, in this life. There is no way to reason it, or explain it. You cannot get over the WHY? But, there is no WHY, just an emptiness that never goes away. Our baby cannot be dead....he's not even sick...but, he is....no why, just IS!

I write this account for all the many people who are hurting, this Holiday Season, loved ones gone, hearts broken, families torn apart. Children are not supposed to go before the parents, it is not a natural part of life, therefore, we are not emotionally equipped to handle such pain. I share with you this one constant. Denise and I will always carry the hurt and the loss, but, through the power of our Heavenly Father. who lost a Son in the most cruel manner ever recorded in history, He is able to sustain us and gently take us forward in our lives to experience life after the heartbreak. No, it never goes away...I am crying right now, as I write this, so that I can hardly read the lines...but, I feel the need to testify to you, my friends, if you are going through unbearable grief. God will take you through it, he will provide a way. He understands.

So the peace and tranquility that Denise and I aspire to, is a daily challenge to attain. We have been through the most horrible trial that a couple or family can ever face. There is no greater grief. But, There Is A Greater God, who overcomes all pain, all sorrow, and I know, when I wake up each morning beside my life partner, that I am blessed above all, that He is with us through the Holy Spirit that lives inside of Stanley Edward Hitchcock and Denise Thornburg Hitchcock, and that someday soon, I will be embracing my son, DW, and we shall never be parted.

As we all sit at our Thanksgiving Dinners with family and friends, in your prayer, remember to be Thankful for the Father, The Son and The Holy Spirit, for nothing in life can ever equal that Peace and Tranquility that they bring to us.

Love, from the Hitchcocks on Deshea Creek in Tennessee.